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Regular visitors to the blog will have seen yesterday’s discussion blog post entitled “if you could make one change, what would it be?” and there was a great discussion with a wide range of responses. Sadly, I haven’t quite located that magic wand as yet, so rather than grant the wishes, I thought I’d simply highlight some of them today.

So, what was on the list? Well there was my straightforward (and lazy) wish to be able to speak a foreign language with ease (and without effort!) and my wife’s latest attempt to convince me that we need to get a puppy! Strangely, there was a consensus amongst those who wished they lived in a different country that the ideal location would be Switzerland. Send me back a Toblerone!

There was a fantastic, and very selfless, suggestion from one commenter who wants to change the ruling elite to those who put others first, with an excellent chain of events that would lead to “teaching others that it helps everyone to consider the wellbeing of all”. If only I really did have that magic wand! Maybe a bit of Eric Clapton will help to change the world: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGDIxcuPT7s

For some people, the big change they wanted to make in their life was to change their career, including to work for themselves, and some had already bitten the bullet and made this change. A lingering regret in some cases was that this hadn’t been done earlier, and this chimed with another popular sentiment that a number of commenters expressed. This was that they wished that the knowledge, self-belief and confidence that they possess now had been theirs when they were younger. I can strongly empathise with that view, if only we could fast-forward through the painful, growing up experiences quickly and then time could slow down again so that we could enjoy the fruits of those experiences at our leisure!

Sadly, it seems, life doesn’t seem to work that way. And I think, on balance, I’m glad for that. No-one truly enjoys being in the midst of some of the more painful, difficult experiences of our lives. But if we’re really honest, those adages about needing the rain in order to truly experience the sunshine contain more than a grain of truth. Getting through a bad time can make you even more grateful for the good times.

This was emphasised by one contributor who would change nothing about her life as she is grateful for all the things she does have, including her family, her business and her health. Another contributor wished she could change an aspect of her health – a life-long anxiety disorder – whilst also acknowledging that it was a driving force that underpinned her carrying out the job that she loves. We need the rain as well as the sun!

I’m also a strong believer in experiential based learning, or learning by doing. And, sadly, some of that “doing” inevitably involves making mistakes, bad things happening and general pain. However, if someone tried to sit you down and teach you all the lessons that could be gained from that “doing” without you having to experience the bad bits, would it have the same effect? Would you even listen? Your parents or teacher or other well-meaning adult may well have tried to do this for you. Did it work? I suspect not!

Finally, there was quite a common theme around commenters wishing they could be more confident, whilst worrying less, working harder and being bolder. I’m going to have a mull on that one, so watch this space for the possible topic of a future blog post!


 


Comments

13/04/2013 6:49pm

Changing one thing would be so hard- how can you not have a domino effect... and start changing all sorts of things? And as you stated- we learn by our mistakes. And Lord knows I'm making my fair share!

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13/04/2013 7:13pm

So true, Denys! Thanks so much for your visit and comment... and keep learning!

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13/04/2013 7:08pm

The change I would make is to provide a forum for all of those who are doing things individually out there to team up. I would love to have you join in on the next Synergy Sessions webinar. It will be a valuable hour spent.

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13/04/2013 7:13pm

Thanks Donovan, I got the details of your webinar from your blog - I just need to work out what time it is in my time now - I'm not very good at this time difference malarkey! Keep up the good work :-)

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13/04/2013 7:10pm

Hi Kat, I think the key is understand that challenging and painful times are always growth opportunities. When I grow through challenging circumstances, I can always turn around later and see them with gratitude. It is when I'm not growing or the learning out of a situation isn't yet complete that the pain lingers on. Has this been your experience too?

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13/04/2013 7:19pm

Hi Michele, thanks so much for your visit and extremely thoughtful comment. I completely agree with you, there are experiences in my life that I absolutely did not agree going through, but I can appreciate that they needed to happen and the benefits that I have obtained from them. I believe that once you finally understand that learning, you can start to move on and put the pain behind you and focus on the appreciation of the learning.

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